Arizona Rainman PhotoShop Satire

If you’re following me on twitter, you know that I had a nightmare of a weekend. My beloved new iPhone 4 was stolen. I’m going to give you the short rant, and I’ll get to the real story.

Don’t parents teach their kids any value? Honestly, it’s not like a middle school girl is going to be able to activate that expensive phone and it’s not like she’s old enough to sell it on ebay. I secretly hope that your mom and/or dad have strong morals and find out that you stole some poor wedding coordinator/blogger/graduate student’s lifeline and punishes you until you are 18 for it!

With that said, I want to detail my service experience. I have blogged a bit about services quite a bit lately (here and here). Studying hospitality management and working in the services industry has really made me see every service experience from a new perspective. Despite the fact that (in this scenario) I was the upset customer, I saw the situation from an objective and almost academic point of view. Here are my observances.

As soon as I realized the phone was gone and someone else had it, I went back to Macy’s and asked the 2 women who worked near the dressing room (and who had checked me out when I had made my purchase 10 minutes prior) from which the iPhone had been stolen. I was in a panic; they were SO slow to react and their “sympathy” was so fake that it was partially disgusting.

When the Macy’s Loss Prevention manager finally made an appearance (15 minutes later), she pretended to be helpful by walking us to the mall security guards. When we asked her about the security cameras, she said she couldn’t refer to them (Seriously lady? You are a loss prevention manager who can’t refer to your own security videos! I’m certain you’re lying, but I won’t call you out on it. I’ll just blog about your lies later.)  We asked her about the video again about 5 minutes later (she had been “searching” for the phone with us). She said, “when do you think it was taken,” I told her approximately 25 minutes prior. Without giving it a moment of thought she responded, oh no, I had the camera somewhere else on the second floor at that time. (Seriously lady? You have one security camera in the store that floats around and at the time it was floating on the second floor. I think not!)

Now, Apple and/or AT&T are perfectly capable of tracking the phone. But they won’t. They can’t be bothered with pushing a few dozen buttons, unless of course you pay for their $100 Mobile Me application (prior to misplacing your iPhone or having it stolen). Fine. People lose their phones every day and it’s not your problem to save the world. Don’t lie to me and tell me you CAN’T. You can. You won’t. End of discussion. (I can’t believe how little money I’ve spent with these two companies over the last two years to get such stellar service </sarcasm>)

Now, the police officer who filed my police report was very pleasant. The mall security guards provided the best service of the night. Their sympathy was genuine. The iPhone thieves told me that they would leave the phone by the bar (they were “afraid” to get in trouble if I saw them…ugh) and mall security helped us look for everything in the mall that might be considered a bar. I was very pleased with mall security, but in the end there was nothing they could do–they were mall cops!. If Apple or Macy’s had provided half the service that mall security did, I may have found those little bitches misguided teenage girls who took my lifeline!

In short, mall security was wonderful. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the Oviedo police department. The corporal who filed my police report told me to call the following morning, if the thieves turned my phone back on, because the investigations department could possibly track the phone. Sure enough, my phone was back on in the morning. I called and the nice lady who answered the phone told me that investigations could track it, but they wouldn’t be in until Monday (it was Sunday). I called on Monday (yes, I left my phone service on for all of those days…silly me!) and investigations told me they could track it, but that the case had not been assigned to them. If I wanted to see about getting the case assigned to investigations, I had to contact the Corporal who filed my police report and he would not be in until Wednesday. (You think I’m leaving my phone service on until Wednesday? That phone is long gone. Case closed.)

And so there you have it…my less-than-acceptable service experience.

A special thanks to my parents who provided amazing service by helping me deal with the financial burden of having my iPhone stolen.

Kenobi wants me to read to him...no can do.

If there is one thing that I am very passionate about these days it’s customer service and my nook. Interestingly enough, this morning I experienced a combination of those two things that left a bad taste in my mouth. Allow me to precede this anecdote with this disclaimer: I tell this story not as a retaliation against Barnes and Noble, but as a warning to their current and future customers. I also write in hopes that a Barnes and Noble employee who cares about the company’s reputation and quality of service might read this and be a catalyst in the re-vamping of their customer service procedures.

Customer service is a big deal. Especially for women. A woman is likely to not buy a product or not shop with a certain company based on customer service experiences. Seeing as how women hold most of the (consumer) purchasing power in the world (As we learned from Bridget Brennan’s book Why She Buys), it’s in a company’s best interest to give this girl what she wants.

Remember how excited I was last week when I wrote this post and this post singing the praises of my new nook? Well this morning I woke up to find that my new nook was unresponsive. Not even 30 days old and the little guy is already defective– not off to a good start Barnes and Noble! I am a smart girl and rather than drive to the nearest Barnes and Noble, I did a little research and a little troubleshooting and then some more troubleshooting. I had no luck. Yet I refrained from driving to the nearest Barnes and Noble. I already knew due to a recent encounter with a store manager that you have a grand total of 14 days to return or exchange your Barnes and Noble products and that manufacturer’s warranties are not honored in the store. With that said, I called nook tech support.

While on the phone with tech support I heard the following nonsense

• You already returned this product (Oh really?)
• We’ll send you a new battery (After troubleshooting proved that the battery was not the problem!)
• Best Buy’s policies are different (After I asked why another company was more willing to stand behind the nook–Barnes and Noble’s own product!–than they are. Great defense of your policies, buddy.)

Three strikes.

I waited 18 minutes to speak with a supervisor. I explained to him why it couldn’t be the battery. (Side note: he was not friendly at all AND he had the audacity to treat me like I was some pesky child, rather than a customer who just spent $300 on their product.) Said supervisor agreed to send me a new nook– that’s right 28 days after purchase they have to mail me a new product rather than exchange it in store!  I put down my weapons (this is definitely a metaphor, as I was very patient and polite throughout this entire debacle) and agreed to follow their exchange procedure.

Unfortunately, it was not that easy. I mentioned earlier that according to Barnes and Noble’s records I had returned the product. (Hm…seems like their return/exchange people in the stores aren’t doing a very good job, if I returned my nook, but still have it here in my hands!) Fortunately for me, my years as a customer service rep came in handy and I recognized that the confusion was due to the fact that I had been given the difference in price, when the price of the nook came down and it had been keyed as a return. (You would think that with as much market share as a company like Barnes and Noble has, they would have a more efficient “system” and I wouldn’t be the one telling them why it was showing up as a return.) Because of this “price match” my exchange required some kind of authorization that cannot be completed for a day or two.

Decompression.

I understand that stores have return policies (though the average return policy, even for consumer electronics, is 30 days and the standard is set by big box retailers such as Walmart and Best Buy).

I understand that electronics are produced in bulk and it’s inevitable that they won’t all function as they are supposed to.

I don’t understand why a company would want to send me a battery, if the battery is clearly not the problem. (Even if it prolongs the exchange of the product–the exchange is inevitable, the prolongation only frustrates the customer.)

I don’t understand why a company with as much market share as Barnes and Noble would not invest in a better “system” (oh the infamous “system”!). It would increase the quality of their customer service ten fold.

I don’t understand why Barnes and Noble would not train their employees (and supervisors!) to be friendly, helpful and knowledgeable.

And maybe I’m a bit biased due to my 4-year career as a customer service rep, but if I had purchased it at Best Buy, I would have been able to exchange my nook for a brand new one on the 28th day (Even if it was working!)

I’m still singing the praises of the nook, but Barnes and Noble’s customer service leaves something to be desired. Unfortunately for Barnes and Noble, you can make as many great products as you’d like, but if you’re not willing or able to resolve a woman’s problem quickly, efficiently and with a great attitude, you may find that she is going to share her negative experience with 500 of her closest friends.